


Disorder

by A_M_Kelley



Category: Bandom, Punk Rock RPF, Sex Pistols (Band)
Genre: 1970s, Biting, Dirty Talk, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, Lap Sex, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Pain Kink, Scars, Shyness, This Is STUPID
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-15
Updated: 2013-12-15
Packaged: 2018-01-04 12:19:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1080942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_M_Kelley/pseuds/A_M_Kelley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It takes Johnny a moment to adjust past the darkness to see just how wide Sid's pupils are blown. If this were any other time Johnny would automatically assume this was due to the various uppers and downers Sid abused but right now that isn't the case. Right now Johnny is the drug that has Sid's pulse thrumming.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Disorder

Sometimes Johnny wonders why Sid does this with him, because if he really wanted to he could go down to a local pub and pick ANYONE up right now. It's no secret that Sid is extremely charismatic, and not to mention charming, but even under that pretty/bad boy façade he is still shy as hell. Especially about his sexuality.

Sure, he's flashed dozens of people before in various ways, but intimacy has always been a private matter for him. Too personal, too involved. Too much emotional attachment to make it public. This is why things have been going so slow between Sid and Johnny. Johnny didn't mind it, he just thought it was strange that Sid was avoiding all his advances.

Sid seemed like the kind of person to have nothing but one-night stands and incapable of love, but the fact that Sid was nervous and tedious with Johnny suggested quite the opposite. Johnny knew Sid wasn't heartless, it was just expected of him to be promiscuous with all that sex appeal he had to girls and guys alike.

To be fair, Johnny never understood what was going on between them to start with. He knew it wasn't a one time thing, but he wasn't sure if he would actually call it a "relationship" per se. His heart was in it to some degree, after all this was Sid. He was a John whether he liked it or not. Once a John, always a John and no stage name could erase that.

Sid on the other hand was difficult to read on the matter. Johnny and Sid had fooled around many times before, kissing and occasionally touching each other, but that's all it ever felt like. Fooling around, being curious kids. It never went further than that either, no matter how incessantly Johnny suggested it. He was beginning to wonder what Sid got out of all of this or what he wanted.

Johnny found out soon enough though.

They were squatting in one of their various places for the night and it was rather cold for them to fall asleep, so the best way to pass the time and simultaneously keep warm was to press up against each other and make out aggressively. It wasn't Johnny's idea to make it rough, but rather Sid's idea.

Sid enjoyed biting and sucking on Johnny's lips and tongue every chance he got. He even liked it more when Johnny left hickeys all over his neck and collar bone. Sid got a kick out of being marked and claimed as someone else's property. Sid liked surrendering to a higher power which is why he liked shooting up so much. He couldn't stand being in control.

But he has drawn a line before and in all fairness he does have the right to have some form of control. There's some things he's not ready for.

Johnny is sitting on a ratty old blanket they share but the material is too worn and thin that the cold hard ground still manages to numb his butt. Sid, however, has worked out a solution to save himself from a similar fate by climbing onto Johnny's warm lap, bracketing his bony legs against Johnny's slightly smaller frame.

Sid has his arms wrapped around Johnny's neck, kissing fervently with everything Johnny is throwing at him. Johnny's hands are cold as they trail up Sid's slender back to fist and tangle Sid's already messy hair into further disorder. He pulls on it roughly to drive Sid's tongue harder into his mouth, knowing full well that Sid is getting off on this alone. The evidence is hard against Johnny's abdomen after all.

Johnny tears his lips away from Sid's to bend down and suck a bruising kiss with teeth into the pale skin just below his jaw. It makes Sid gasp at the sharp contact but Johnny knows it's all just for his benefit. Sid has been in worse pain, if you could even call this pain. It's not like Johnny's teeth have punctured skin, yet. But still, Sid responds to it as if it were the first, arching into the suction of Johnny's mouth and grinding his hips down on Johnny's straining hard on suggestively.

His cock throbs in the best way possible every time Sid gyrates his pelvis down onto his lap and it doesn't occur to Johnny until now just how big a tease Sid really is. Johnny's not sure if Sid's being willfully ignorant or if he's just an evil genius, but Johnny is starting to feel that familiar longing. That ache deep within himself he holds just for Sid.

Johnny wants more. He needs more. He needs to feel Sid more thoroughly and all around him. Johnny wants to tear down the fabric barriers that separate skin from skin. Lost in his own thoughts, Johnny begins to grind his hips up into Sid as he bites harder into flushing skin. Nothing has ever made him more primal than the way Sid gasps and squirms with arousal and discomfort.

They part away breathlessly from each other and it takes Johnny a moment to adjust past the darkness to see just how wide Sid's pupils are blown. If this were any other time Johnny would automatically assume this was due to the various uppers and downers Sid abused but right now that isn't the case. Right now Johnny is the drug that has Sid's pulse thrumming.

"Wot?" Sid asks nervously after Johnny stares at him for too long.

"Just lookin'... Admirin' how beautiful you really are," Johnny tells him softly, leaning in to kiss Sid but falling short when the dark haired man turns his head away bashfully.

"Shut up..." Sid dismisses with a blush, keeping his face away from Johnny's. He's always certain it's a mock out of jealousy even when Johnny really means it. "I hate it when you say things like that."

"Would you rather I lie to you then?" Johnny inquires defensively but Sid doesn't answer. Johnny's face softens a little and he trails a hand down Sid's chest, stopping just above his waist line. "Why do you do this every time?"

"Do wot?" Sid questions with innocence like he doesn't know what Johnny's referring to, when in reality he knows better.

"Every time we start to-- Look at me!" Johnny orders mid sentence when Sid refuses to look him in the eyes. Sid's eyes almost immediately snap to attention at Johnny's firm tone, feeling like a child being scolded. "Every time we start foolin' 'round you always find a way out of it."

"I don't know wot you mean..." Sid begins to say, lying through his teeth, but his words are forgotten on his tongue when both of Johnny's hands grab hold of his hips.

"Can't you feel how badly I want you?" Johnny raises his hips up just a fraction, brushing his clothed erection against the curve of Sid's bony ass. Sid shivers against Johnny, whether it's from the cold or contact he's not sure. "Don't you ever want it inside you?"

Sid's breath hitches at the suggestion, sending prickling little impulses down his arms and spine. Sid arches further into Johnny and he grinds down onto his lap by reflex more than anything. Johnny throbs within his pants as Sid squirms in his lap like he's not entirely sure what he wants but too afraid to find out. Sid whimpers out of frustration when one of Johnny's hands rubs firmly at the bulge in his jeans.

"I could give it to ya right now if you wanted," Johnny states, squeezing Sid's bulge and rubbing the heel of his hand firmly to cause almost painful friction. Sid's mouth falls open and he moans softly. "Fuck, you're so sexy."

"John..." Sid whines petulantly, turning a soft shade of pink when Johnny openly stares at his embarrassing aroused expressions. He hides his face in the junction of Johnny's neck and shoulder. "Please..."

"Let me fuck you," Johnny whispers into Sid's ear, nuzzling the lobe with the tip of his nose. "I fuckin' want you so bad I can't take it anymore."

Sid wordlessly complies, meaning he doesn't stop Johnny as his belt and pants are undone by determined hands. Sid isn't exactly a hundred percent on board with this but Johnny has been very patient with him and so understanding that surely if he had the courage to tell Johnny the truth, he wouldn't be laughed at.

Johnny grabs the hem of Sid's self torn shirt and slowly pulls it up over his spiky head, exposing that pale slender body marred by various scars leading in all directions. Johnny stares at them for a moment, frowning at the self harm Sid has put himself through just to entertain others and hating the bastard for scarring such a beautiful body. It was still beautiful, if not flawed, and Johnny was able to look past the scars. It still didn't change how much Johnny wanted him.

"Jesus-fuckin-christ, Sid," Johnny exhaled almost breathlessly, appreciating every aspect of Sid. He's flawed in the most beautiful ways and it makes Johnny envious. "It's almost unfair how gorgeous you are. Lift your body up."

Sid obliges to Johnny's request, rising up on his knees so the shorter man could yank down those tight jeans past slender hips. His ratty underwear catches on his studded belt and follows down his thighs in the wake of his jeans. Sid is now fully exposed to the cold damp air and he instinctively clings tighter to Johnny for warmth, whining his disapproval of the whole situation.

"I'm fuckin' freezin', Johnny. Can't we do this some other time?" Sid inquires pitifully, whimpering like the child he still is. Sure, he's a cold skinny kid but he has other reasons why he can't do this.

"Wot's got ya so wound up, eh?" Johnny murmurs sympathetically, running his hands down Sid's back and through his hair. "Yer actin' like I'm gonna murder ya!"

"I'm scared, John," Sid admits bashfully but Johnny misses his confession entirely.

"Wot's to be scared of? No one's 'round tonight. Which means we can be as loud as we want," Johnny grins mischievously, rubbing his nose against Sid's playfully but Sid isn't smiling or finding any comfort in this knowledge.

"S'ot wot I'm talkin' 'bout, Johnny..." Sid mumbles indignantly, trying to word it differently for Johnny to understand without actually having to say it, but it doesn't work. "It's more than that..."

"Wot?"

"I haven't done this before..." Sid sighs, grimacing at how foolish he must look right now and when Johnny starts to laugh it just pushes Sid deeper into his embarrassment. "S'not funny ya git!"

"S'not why I'm laughin'..." Johnny sputters between chuckles. "You honestly thought I'd make fun of you?"

"Well, no... But... I don't know..." Sid shrugs with a small tremble. "I've always wanted you, Johnny, but I've always been too afraid of gettin' 'urt."

"This coming from the sod who cuts himself," Johnny snorts with a shake of his head, but Sid is serious.

"Not all pain is physical, John," Sid tells him solemnly and Johnny seems to understand what he means.

"It's alright," Johnny hushes, cupping Sid's youthful face in his cold hands to stroke his thumbs across the sharp edges of his cheekbones. He seems to know where Sid is coming from and it makes his heart twist painfully. "I ain't gonna 'urt you, Sid."

"Johnny--" Sid begins to complain but Johnny's not having any of it.

"I promise," Johnny coos, kissing Sid chastely on the lips as extra insurance and it somehow gets Sid to stop shaking from the cold.

"It's hard to believe that when you're still clothed," Sid points out, hinting to Johnny that he's changed his mind on the matter. Sid grins and bites his bottom lip innocently, when it's anything but. "How 'bout you prove it to me?"

It's all Johnny needs as incentive to get the show on the road and he's so excited that he pushes Sid off his lap to scramble for his own belt. Sid makes a little oomph! sound, rubbing where his bony backside has struck the hard ground as he watches Johnny undress hastily. Johnny doesn't really waste time, does he?

Sid knows Johnny's behavior isn't out of carelessness, but rather elation, and he has to find it oddly endearing. If Johnny really didn't care then he would've cut his loses long ago when Sid didn't put out after his first advances. Johnny was either really determined and didn't take no for an answer or he was just genuine in his intentions. Sid kind of hoped for both. It would be nice having someone who would never give up on him and had pure intentions.

Sid was sprawled out on the ratty blanket, leaning back on his elbows for support and his legs spread slightly apart to leave himself open. It wasn't the most conventional or comfortable way to lose it, but Sid figured the "where" and "how" didn't really matter. All that mattered was the "who". Everyone wants their first time to be meaningful and with someone special. Who better than Johnny?

If it wasn't Johnny then it would be some junkie he met at a pub and while that may have included a warm bed, Sid still wouldn't trade it for this moment. This moment in which his pulse is a thousand times faster but a million times slower as he waits patiently for Johnny to get fully undressed.

Johnny nearly tripped over his feet when he struggled to peel off his tight jeans before he straightened up to toss them aside. He threw his shirt over his head, shivering from the cold brushing against the more sensitive areas of his body and the welcoming sight of Sid. His long pale body haloed in the moonlight shining in through the half finished window, illuminating just enough of Sid to outline the hard flushed muscle lying neglected against his marred abdomen.

Johnny bends down and crawls up the length of Sid's body, lowering himself so that they are chest to chest. Johnny is settled between Sid's spread thighs, rubbing his erection idly against Sid's perineum for that friction he longed for so much. The contact of hot and hard against that tiny part of himself made Sid arch wantonly, moaning with over exaggeration that was solely to turn Johnny on even more.

"You certainly know how to tease a man, you filthy little shit," Johnny chuckles in between the satisfied pants Sid is eliciting from him just by humping himself down on his straining cock. Johnny isn't even inside Sid yet and he feels as though he might burst. "Seem to know wot you're doin'..."

"I 'ave a vague idea," Sid grins widely, seeming to gain some confidence by Johnny's arousal prodding him in sensitive places. He's still nervous but he hides it well enough for Johnny to miss. "I believe you 'ave somethin' to give me?"

Johnny huffs out a small laugh and cranes his head down to capture Sid's lips with his in a heated kiss, breaking away to shove two fingers into Sid's mouth. Sid makes a muffled noise, taken aback by the intrusion, but he understands the purpose of it all. He sucks on Johnny's fingers, swirling his tongue around jagged nails and dirty skin to wet them thoroughly.

They're not currently in the best of hygiene and Sid can practically taste the dirt under Johnny's nails, but still he moans around them and sucks as if it's the greatest thing on Earth. Sid's too preoccupied with moving his hips against Johnny's to actually really care about much else except for what he's feeling. Johnny's hips raise up just slightly so that their cocks rub against one another and suddenly it doesn't feel so cold anymore.

Sid's body is on fire. Johnny's body is on fire. Johnny watches in rapt as Sid sucks and licks his slender fingers. Sid's eyes are closed and the expression on his face is so angelic and so pure that it's almost unreal to Johnny's prying eyes. No one should be allowed to be that beautiful... Johnny is so envious of his flawed beauty that he almost wants to destroy it altogether. But he doesn't.

Instead, Johnny ends up pulling his fingers out of Sid's mouth, making Sid unconsciously follow them shortly thereafter. Sid frowns and this amazes Johnny. He wonders idly what sort've reaction he'd get if it were his cock in his mouth instead of fingers. But that's for another time. Right now Johnny has some preparing to do.

Sid's eyes flutter open to watch Johnny's hand disappear down the expanse of his scarred torso, drifting past his neglected erection to probe more intimate areas. The initial touch of Johnny's saliva slick fingers against his opening makes him flinch because, while it's expected, it's still a foreign feeling. Johnny rubs his two fingers over the delicate skin there, gauging Sid's reaction as he bites his bottom lip.

The dark haired boy squirms and makes a whimpering sound, like he doesn't know what to think of this new sensation. At first he's not sure if he likes it or not, but Johnny presses more firmly until one finger slides in jaggedly and it causes Sid to call out despite himself. It's a weird sensation, it doesn't exactly hurt, but it leaves a dull throbbing in the tight muscles of his entrance.

"That feel good?" Johnny asks when Sid's eyes squeeze shut and a grimace spreads across his face. Johnny enjoys the frustration and blush written all over Sid's cheeks. "You want more?"

Sid looks anywhere but at Johnny, searching the blank moonlight walls for a coherent answer but finding none. In the end he goes with his gut feeling and simply nods, gasping when Johnny starts to gently thrust his finger in and out. Johnny twists and works his finger a few times inside of Sid before he pulls out entirely to suck further on his own fingers, getting them liberally wetter.

Johnny can taste Sid on his finger and it's make his senses more keen, more sharp. It's a flavor that could take some getting used to but it's also intoxicating all at the same time, making Johnny's head swim in a mixture of filthy boy and arousal. He places his fingers back at Sid's hole but this time pushes both fingers inside him fully in one long motion. This time Sid croons with discomfort, wincing openly at the rough intrusion of Johnny's fingers.

Johnny dips down to bite and suck at Sid's collarbone, occupying the dark haired boy as he fingered him swiftly and thoroughly. Johnny worked Sid open as patiently as he could manage, spreading and stretching that tight ring by scissoring his bony fingers with just the right amount of resistance. Sid is making soft confused noises, thrashing his greasy head to and fro on the hard ground because of the over stimulation.

Sid whines every time Johnny twists his fingers on the trusts in, causing tremors to pulse through the pale slender body that no longer knows which way is up. Johnny sucks hard on a patch of pale skin to turn it pink, wiggling his fingers experimentally to find that pressure point deep inside of Sid. But before he can explore more thoroughly Sid jerks his hips down, silently begging for more.

"Come on, Johnny," Sid whines wantonly like he's done this a dozen times before and for a moment he actually believes he has and that he isn't a virgin. But he is. "Give it to me!"

"Alright, alright," Johnny chides softly, unlatching his mouth from Sid's collarbone and withdrawing his fingers from tight heat. "I'll give ya wot ya need, baby."

The shorter man sits back on his knees, the concrete underneath them nearly bruising, and looks down at Sid's sinfully twisted body. Long limbs strewn in all directions, arms thrown up over his messy head while his legs werespread impossibly wide. Johnny couldn't tell where Sid began and where he ended. Just miles of wiry muscles and lanky limbs covered in a soft flush of arousal and bashfulness.

Johnny spits into his hand and unceremoniously coats his throbbing cock with it, and while it isn't the best solution it's the only one they got in order to do the dirty deed. The look Sid gives Johnny when he feels the tip of Johnny's cock against his entrance is absolutely maniacal and predatory. It nearly makes Johnny shiver with anticipation for what that look might mean.

"You ready for my cock, sweetheart?" Johnny mocks in a way that someone might speak to their lover but it's meant to tease Sid more than anything.

It's fair to say that every little remark gets Sid's pulse going. No matter how hard Sid tries to deny it he loves it when Johnny uses terms of endearment like that. It embarrasses Sid to no extent but he gets off on stuff like that. He loves being called sweet things. He loves the attention it brings and the fact that it's Johnny somehow makes it much more intense. It feels more special and genuine coming from Johnny.

Sid stares up at Johnny with a far off glassy gaze, gnawing on his lips because he's trapped within his body and he's practically climbing the walls. Sid squirms, trying to get Johnny's cock inside him already and it's all the invitation Johnny needs to press forward ever so slowly into Sid's welcoming body.

The first press in was met with resistance, so much so that Johnny had to kind of force it after Sid's body wouldn't let him budge an inch. When Johnny slipped in the first few inches it nearly tore Sid apart, making Sid call out with a shattered moan. It was excruciating being breached for the first time and it was nothing like having fingers inside him, but Sid was determined to stick this one out. He wanted Johnny, but more importantly he wanted Johnny to take him. All of him.

"It fuckin' hurts, Johnny," Sid whimpers, biting down on his lips to muffle the sobs that want to rip free from his slender throat.

He reaches up to claw at Johnny's chest, trying to grab a hold of something to ground him and get him through what feels like child birth. Johnny bends down closer to Sid, letting the dark haired boy wrap his arms around his shoulders, and grabs him by the hips to steady Sid. Johnny keeps them both from making any sudden movements that might hurt Sid.

"I can't lay on this fuckin' ground anymore, John," Sid complains, adjusting himself against the ratty blanket but to no avail. He looks so pitiful. So pretty.

Johnny considers this for a moment and without any foreword he grabs Sid by the hips, leans back, and begins to lift the lanky boy up until he is hovering over his lap. Sid's eyes go wide for a moment and before he can prepare himself for what Johnny is about to do, it happens. Johnny's lips curl to one side as he starts to lower Sid down on his lap, driving his cock further inside him. By the time Sid's bony ass is resting fully against Johnny's thighs his mouth is stuck forever in an "O" shape but despite the obvious pain he's experiencing no sound leaves his lips. Maybe it isn't out of pain but out of pleasure? Johnny doesn't ask either way because Sid seems to get off on it all the same.

Sid is the first to move, raising his hips up a fraction before falling back down onto Johnny's lap. The motion makes them both moan with pleasure and Johnny is surprised that Sid would be so bold to start this on his own volition. He was almost certain that Sid was hurting but that didn't seem to dampen Sid's spirit one bit.

Sid throws his arms around Johnny's neck as he starts to ride him in short shallow bursts of grinding hips. The friction is rough and the pain is still prominent but there is something inside of Sid that is lighting up every time Johnny's cock buries into him fully. It confuses Sid and all his senses since he's feeling so many conflicting things all at once, but his cock his straining in between his and Johnny's stomachs.

"Oh my god," Sid stammers out, lifting himself up further and fast as he starts to really take Johnny for a proper ride. "You feel so fuckin' good, John."

Johnny moans at the sound of his name on Sid's breath, running a hand up his back to fist it in his ratty hair, pulling his head back to drown out the sound of his moaning into Sid's neck. He bites and sucks all along Sid's neck, helplessly and breathlessly foregone as Sid's tight body squeezed all around him in sinuous ways.

As Sid rode him mindlessly to reach his pleasure Johnny wrapped his other hand around Sid's long forgotten cock and started to twist and pull the taught skin firmly. The intensity of Sid's moans and choked up little gasps grew louder and more bold as the tight coil in the pit of Sid's stomach started to unravel and he knew it wouldn't be long now. Johnny could feel it too.

"I'm so close, Johnny. Please..." Sid starts to beg, as if he needs Johnny's permission to let go and come. "Please, fuck me. Fuck me harder."

Johnny let's go of Sid's hair and thrusts up relentlessly into welcoming heat that is still stubborn but willing to adjust in the future. Sid is gone with the combination of sharp jabs into his bundle of nerves and the fist that is a blur around his flushed cock. Sid opens up his eyes to see that Johnny is already watching him intently with that blank stare of his and he knows he can't hold on after that. Sid can feel the first tremors of Johnny's cock releasing inside him and Sid can feel himself let go.

In this small, insignificant moment of clarity, Sid is pure and Sid is beautiful.


End file.
